#69: It's presidential death-watch season!

Death by Consumption 8/26/25 - 9/1/25 Summer is dead, and so is the president. Never mind that it's still gorgeous and warm out, and that he is "giving" an "address" today — I know in my heart what is true, and

#68: Mamma Mia! on Broadway is gay psychosis

Death By Consumption 8/19/25 - 8/25/25 Today was the first morning I felt a near-chill in the air in months, and I could practically levitate. The tyranny of summer is nearly over! The only bad news about this is that the subways are back to filling

#67: I am compelled to defend Gwyneth Paltrow

Death By Consumption 8/12/25 - 8/18/25 Okay, bear with me but I need to do that obnoxious thing people do and ask for Japan recommendations. We pounced on a last-minute flight deal and are going later this year for Justin's 40th, so I have

#66: Wait... when did movies get good again???

Death By Consumption 8/5/25 - 8/11/25 It's the dog days of summer, and Martial Law is coming to a city near you! I can't wait to get shot in the head by a Marine patrol for jaywalking. But, really, none of us

#65: Summer is trying to kill me

It's a miracle I even survived this past week. My high school best friend came to visit NYC for the first time since we were teenagers (shoutout to the extremely toxic 2004 drama club field trip!!!!!), chaotically arriving on a Monday and leaving on a Friday. And during

#64: Superman is corny and horny

Death By Consumption 7/22/25 - 7/28/25 I know I complained about the heat last week, but, girl: the heat! Would you believe me if I said our ConEd bill for the month was $450?!?! Four hundred and fifty dollars! For electricity! Luigi Mangione, I have another

#63: Did I like Eddington or hate Eddington? Yep!

Death By Consumption 7/15/25 - 7/21/25 I guess summer in New York is now just going to be 100 degrees most days, forever? Every day, my phone alerts me that a heatwave is in effect until, say, 8pm on Tuesday, and then at 9pm on Tuesday

#62: I'm blaming the UK for Lena Dunham being bad now

Death By Consumption 7/8/25 - 7/14/25 The return from vacation hit hard this week, with work piling on bullshit (I will never not be annoyed at being asked to do my actual job? At work??? Grow up), so the only major consumption I was able to

#61: The Survivor card game will ruin your family gathering

Death By Consumption 7/1/25 - 7/7/25 I’m writing this on a plane, swaddled in the loving bosom of Delta’s very last row, returning to NY after a week in Wisconsin. Going straight from Fire Island to my parents’ house was a rough transition — seeing

#60: The worst bar in Brooklyn

Death By Consumption 6/24/25 - 6/30/25 Death By Consumption is on vacation mode, as we’ve spent the week on Fire Island. Which means today‘s email is shorter than usual. Because vacation isn’t for EMAILS, it’s for waking up saying, “I need to