#39: I had heart surgery, give me attention

Death By Consumption 1/28/25 - 2/3/25 I am currently recovering from — as I must admit I have enjoyed dramatically saying all week — some minor heart surgery. I had an ablation at the end of last week, which the doctors and nurses assured me was routine and

#38: Bob Dylan was the Rita Ora of his time

Death By Consumption 1/21/25 - 1/27/25 January should be illegal. Flop month, flop weather, flop president, flop country. I feel like there must have been a time when January content was stuff like "10 cozy hot chocolate pairings to snuggle up with!" and now

#37: Jesse Eisenberg, you will be dealt with

Death By Consumption 1/14/25 - 1/20/25 I don't know about you, but I am loving how cheap eggs are today. It's just so good to know that finally power is back where it belongs: in the hands of white crypto scammers. Over

#36: BLEAKNESS ABOUNDS

Death By Consumption 1/7/25 - 1/13/25 The past few days, as I watched Los Angeles burn from afar, destroying homes and lives and places I've loved, while texting friends for updates on when they were deciding to flee, it finally set in: oh fuck,

#35: Nominate Nosferatu for Best Comedy, you cowards

Death by Consumption 12/24/24 - 1/6/25 I did not expect this, but my biggest question so far in the new year is: should I watch Emilia Pérez? It sounded stupid and I had zero interest, but then it won a baffling amount of awards at the

#34: The 2024 Consumpties

Death By Consumption 2024-2024 Considering today is conveniently the last day of the year, rather than a usual look at what I consumed all week (mostly wine and baked goods), I figured why not do a look back at the whole year? This was the first year of Death by

#33: A Week in Wales

Death By Consumption 12/17/24 - 12/23/24 It’s Christmas Eve! Did you know that? But I hope you’re not even reading this for another week or so — this is not a time for EMAILS. Honestly, I think they should forcibly shut Gmail down from now

#32: “Happy Christmas, mate!” - me all week

Death By Consumption 12/10/24 - 12/16/24 I am writing this from a Welsh pub, so this might be an absolute mess. We’ll see! Honestly, I can’t believe I’m getting anything out at all. I was in London for most of the week for

#31: Who's scarier: Tom Ripley or Andy Cohen?

Death By Consumption 12/3/24 - 12/9/24 Does anyone have any gift ideas? I'm struggling to think of or purchase anything this year, and with only two weeks left until Christmas, I should be buying gifts for people, but instead I'm spending my

#30: I saw the big famous movies (not you, Moana)

Death By Consumption 11/26/24 - 12/2/24 Just my opinion, but I don't think Thanksgiving should be allowed to happen that late in November. You're eating turkey one minute, and suddenly it's December? No. I reject it. And then what'